Emily Stands Up

Gmail Spam: A Conversation with a Web Cam Girl

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:14:00 -0500

pinkkrushy296: hey there

me: Good Afternoon Madam.

pinkkrushy296: Hey hun.. How are you today? Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet new people...

me: I’m not doing well. My cat choked on a battery.

pinkkrushy296: Cool… Well, my name is Jenny Im from S.Florida..

me: Cool? How is that cool? It fucking sucks.Go to hell Jenny.

pinkkrushy296: Can I ask you a question?

me: FINE! What? What is it? Only if it’s about donuts. I fucking love donuts.

pinkkrushy296: What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY?

me: This conversation isn’t going to be about donuts…is it?

pinkkrushy296: lol.. I have a lot of both!! Wanna see me? I just started working at scores im on their live site now…

me: One time I had like the best dessert. It was a donut ice cream sandwich. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

pinkkrushy296: Ok… let me set my web cam up and you can see me on my bed, watch me shake my booty and bounce my tits!! LOL.. brb

me: It’s all about you, isn’t it?

pinkkrushy296: Ok! Click here (LINK) it will bring you to my scores cam page and we’ll have a PRIVATE 1on1 chat..There’s a few pix of me in there, thats my profile. Just register and it’ll take you straight to my webcam, I’ll be there in a minute..

me: Just a thought, if you want to make friends, it’s not always a good idea to JUST talk about yourself. Ask me a question.

pinkkrushy296: did you see me put my ass and pussy up close for you babe? hehe

me: IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

pinkkrushy296: I think it costs like $1 to watch me babe, trust me it will be well worth it!

me: You THINK it’s a dollar to watch you? I suggest you find out.

pinkkrushy296: Im feeling freaky and I don’t want any kids watching me!! lol..

me: That conflict in Syria is pretty crazy.

pinkkrushy296: Once you’ve completed that, it’ll bring you to the main page.

me:

pinkkrushy296: Just go to the Live Model section and click my cam pic

me: Let’s exchange cam pics!

Your turn!

Conversations with Adam and Emily

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 20:59:02 -0400

Conversations with Adam and Emily:

Hugs and Boobs forever if you follow this tumblr!

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:22:59 -0400

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only what you are expecting to give — which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving.”
- Katharine Hepburn -

Photo

Sun, 25 Jul 2010 02:35:55 -0400

POO ON THE MENU

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:31:24 -0400

POO ON THE MENU

"Each time you feel this pressurized urge to give yourself away, silently but solidly refuse to..."

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:27:16 -0400

“Each time you feel this pressurized urge to give yourself away, silently but solidly refuse to release this pressure by giving in to its demands. It may help you to succeed sooner if you know that fear has no voice unless it tricks you into giving it one. So stay silent. Your conscious silence stops self-sabotage. Special Summary: In any and every moment of your life, you are either in command of yourself…or you are being commanded.”

"You only kept me around. Waitin’ for someone better to come along. I guess that’s how..."

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 16:20:44 -0400

“You only kept me around. Waitin’ for someone better to come along. I guess that’s how people are in the long run.”

Photo

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 15:39:53 -0400

One of the greatest punk bands, in my opinion of course, will be...

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 00:35:09 -0400

One of the greatest punk bands, in my opinion of course, will be coming to NYC in MAY! AMAZING!

Photo

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 16:56:09 -0400

R. I. P. Alex Chilton. I must be the last person to find out...

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:02:54 -0400

R. I. P. Alex Chilton. I must be the last person to find out about this.

Photo

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:47:01 -0500

Dear Sir(s):

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:46:21 -0500

Dear Sir,

Just because I talk to you in a friendly and open manner, doesn’t mean I enjoy your company.

Sincerely,

Emily R. Bryan

shortmikeshort: King Canute art, drawn & colored by yours...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:39:48 -0500

shortmikeshort:

King Canute art, drawn & colored by yours truly.

My roommate drew this for his new Megawatt team at the Magnet Theater: http://www.magnettheater.com. He’s pretty darn guud.

Epic...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0500

Epic...:

Sad Trombone.

"The best camera is the one you have with you."

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:34:22 -0500

“The best camera is the one you have with you.”

- Unknown, often attributed to Ansel Adams (via claytoncubitt)

And the award goes to....

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:30:21 -0500

I just woke up. I am not proud of this.

Episodes in Subway Banter

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:17:00 -0500

Me (speaking to myself): Where are my headphones? (Drops bag on subway floor. Bra and perfume fall out of bag. Guy sitting next to me, looks at the floor and then looks at me.)
Guy: I bet a girl like you made a lot of money tonight.
Me: (pause) What? (long pause.) Oooooooooh. Dude…no.

Photo

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:07:39 -0500

Mom.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:05:20 -0500

Me: My iphone is acting weird.
Mom: You can take your iphone and shove it up your ass.
Me: How does that help me?